You wish you could you go back to 2011 and make your past self understand how good you had it. Sure, your life was basically an ongoing existential crisis and you hadn’t even met your BEST FRIEND yet, but you didn’t have to worry about hours of your free time being monopolized by vaguely antagonistic fuck all. As the age old saying goes, GIVE A MAN A SWORD, he’ll jailbreak your devices for a day, ATTEMPT TO TEACH A MAN ABOUT SWORDS and he’ll think its ok to text you at 4am about how he’s always wanted to allocate skill points but just never had the opportunity to acquire them and that despite what people may say pocket watches are actually extremely versatile murder weapons, not that he went looking for that information, obviously, it just sort of plagues him, you know how it is? And you absolutely don’t. Like not even a little. You don’t know much about COMPUTERS, because MAGIC is COOLER and also BETTER, so you’re not sure if this is a good example, but he could put out the hottest firewall and you would still sincerely doubt his ongoing services were worth actually having to see him on a weekly basis, if those encounters didn’t involve beating the shit out of him with 5 feet of electrified steel.
