Now that you know you have an audience…

 I know, I know, got to get this show on the road, huh?

I’m surprised you aren’t more concerned I’m just making this up as I go.

I’m familiar with the key facts, and details can be verified, given time.

Still, there’s that certain something you don’t know. I’d be more worried about that, if I was you. That puzzle piece you dropped behind the couch. This could all be for nothing, if you’re not careful.

You strike me as someone remarkably preoccupied with the truth, given what we asked of you. 

You got it all wrong, kemosabe. When the lie says you’re Commander Shepard, why argue? When the truth is a scared seven year old, what is she supposed to do, not accept the Tale of the Champion as hers alone? I simply have the most to gain.

Rhetoric aside, if you’re saying you’ll trust me, well 

[It’s. ]

[Your. ]

[Funeral.]

Before we begin, what would you have me call you, for the record? If the interactions you’ve shared with me thus far are any indication, Handsome Jack-

Oh hey, my deadname! Love that. Love you saying it.

-seems to be both a somewhat inaccurate label and a significant psychological stressor for you- but your archived attempts to go by something else are…indecisive.

Jane’s callsign for me was Bravo. Bravo Kilo. It’s- it was generally safe to default to her authority.

By the way, who the hell are you? I have a sneaking suspicion you’re just like, an intern, who’s capitalizing the bitch out of my ignorance to satisfy a god-complex.

For the purpose of this conversation, you may refer to me as Echo Alpha.

Okay EA… wow… that, that does not inspire confidence. That better be ironic. You know as someone who was also named after almost literal capitalist video game Satan, you can change that if you aren’t feeling it. Just putting it out there.

3…2……1…………

Ok so you’re Al now! Unless that’s YOUR deadname.

I’m a woke motherfucker.

Oh right this is one of those parts where I’m supposed to infer from your silence that I need to narrate again.

I’m glad you told me about the projector, Al, because I’m feeling nostalgic all of a sudden.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *