— margraveSteel [MS] began partying with sovereignSlayer [SS]at 12:40–
MS: Janey there’s this movie that just showed up on Netflix called “Speed Racer”
MS: about this kid, first name Speed last name Racer LMAO
MS: so I watched the trailer and I was like “well if there’s going to be a movie about driving egregiously quickly and maybe also dangerously in the future there’s only one woman I’d call”
MS: “and maybe the saturated americana infused depiction of a family that loves and supports each other will soothe my long held scars inflicted by my toxic relationship with my mother”
MS: “so win win”
MS: is what I thought to myself two minutes ago
MS: but more importantly you’ve hardly taken a break since ma-
MS: in forever!!!
MS: and nothing says girls night like
MS:… a movie you’ve never expressed interest in…
MS:….about an anime that neither of us have ever seen…
MS: anyway
MS:
MS: let me know, ok?
SS: I’m busy
MS: with what?
MS: you’ve been on your feet all summer, whatever’s left is something that can wait
MS: at least until we can tackle it together
MS:
MS: ok?
SS:
SS: Have you ever heard of a man named Handsome Jack?
MS: LMAO sounds like a stripper
MS: oh oh or maybe a stage magician????
SS: Mari why would I be asking if you were familiar with a specific male stripper and/or stage magician?
MS: because my birthday is coming up and you’re planning ahead but trying to be coy about it
MS: don’t worry!
MS: I’ll act surprised :|D
SS: That’s not even remotely the point of what I thought was going to be a simple yes or no question
MS: Andraste’s pants do you have a hot date with a stage magician who is maybe also an adult entertainer holy shit
SS: Oh my god I really don’t
SS: I don’t know how to adequately express how much that isn’t happening
MS: ;|)
SS: If you’d been paying attention to the release schedule you’d know he’s the antagonist of ‘Borderlands 2’ and
SS: Surprising no one who is not you, apparently
SS: He’s been going HAL over 9000 out in Whiterun ever since the damn disk went in
SS: Suffice it to say, he’s made my hit list
MS: why is the antag of the new borderlands game a male stripper
SS: Ems
SS: He’s
SS: He’s not a stripper
SS: He just has a stripper name for some reason
MS: ok ok I’m just saying Handsome Jack is just like
MS: a really shit epithet to give yourself in fields outside of explicit showmanship
MS: either the handsomeness is self-evident or its not slapping that adjective on yourself isn’t going to change anything
MS: if he is handsome it doesn’t bring anything new to the table besides profound insecurity
MS: and if he isn’t then he’s just wasting his infamy on an ironic lark, which just won’t do in the long run
SS: I’ll be sure to tell him your thoughts during tonight’s firefight
MS: oh lol I’ll tell him myself he deserves to know by whose hand his ass will be delivered
SS: What about Speed Racer?
SS: I thought you didn’t want to think about this kind of thing tonight
MS: and miss out on cyberbullying this Orlesian tart in real life???
SS: Ems you don’t need to call it cyberbullying just because we’re in a computer
MS: I can’t have it be known that the Champion of Kirkwall failed to make fun of Magic Mike-
SS: Handsome Jack
MS: -when the world needed her most
MS: what would Varric say?
SS: Ok, that’s enough Marian
SS: This isn’t a joke
SS: It
SS: It shouldn’t be a joke to you
SS: He’s a dangerous man, the likes of which we haven’t seen since before your time
SS: I’m not about to let him hurt you
SS:
SS: I’m not about to put anyone else in harm’s way
MS: come on Jane, don’t get this tool confused with what happened back in May. I wasn’t even there, but I know it wasn’t some fight with a space man…and it definitely wasn’t your fault.
MS: anyway, what’s he going to do, kill me with his fucking space gun?
MS: oh no, A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES OF MY LIFE WASTED D|:
MS: I bet it won’t even hurt as much as slowly succumbing to multiple stab wounds, which is my usual M.O.
MS: but seriously Jane, I’ve been fighting my entire life, same as you…well maybe not as long but,
MS: I can handle myself! I can help! Like Dale used to.
SS:
MS: I’m almost two years old.
SS: Do I need to remind you how old DALE was?
MS:
MS: that’s not fair Jane
SS: John and Tana were older than me, do you think that changed anything?
MS: you don’t get to use them like that
SS: And you don’t get to throw your life away because you want to make a crack at someone who won’t hesitate to shoot you in the head as soon as he realizes what we came for!
SS: YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE ME WATCH THAT HAPPEN TO YOU!
MS:
MS: I didn’t know I was talking to HEATHER
MS: but only SHE would think SHE could tell me what to do
— margraveSteel [MS] ceased partying with sovereignSlayer [SS]at 12:44 —
SS: Ems, wait.
SS: I’m sorry.
SS: I won’t change my mind, but that didn’t mean I had to…
SS:
SS: It’s been a long year, Ems.
SS: If he ends up getting out of dodge before I can wake him up,
SS: We’re on…
SS: (…if Bravo India was Nicol Bolas…then Megatron was Bravo Juliett…so…)
SS: Code Bravo Kilo if you see him, ok?
— sovereignSlayer [SS] ceased partying at 12:46 —
