??: nah
??: i just had a certain jonesing to fuck up a dragon is all
??: bout the only upshot of whatever….
??: weird ass norse enthusiast vr roleplay simulation you got my consciousness all up and trapped in not gonna lie dont really know why youre hosting this on the same server as you torture your corporate prisoners in
??: kinda sloppy
??:
??: right where was i
??: is the varied and interesting shit to kill
??: dont even get me started on the varied and interesting ways to kill said shit like
??: ill be sure to give whoever slapped this bitch together 5 stars on yelp just as soon as i finish amputating their hands for having the uhhhh
??: audacity????
??:
??: nah really is it audacity
??: im honestly drawing a blank here
SS:
??: wow get to do all the jawin myself again huh
??: its almost like all vault hunters are mutes or some shit
??: anyway
??: audacity sounds dope as fuck though so were going with it
??: (between you and me i technically own a deciding interest of the english language and the definition changes in real time in accordance to my will you can thank me later)
??: all this to say
??: im going to cut AT LEAST the hands off the bitch who thought that they could trap ME in a goddamn dnd session
SS: Who are you again?
??: w-what
SS: I would have asked sooner but you seemed to be struggling to find the point and it didn’t seem fair to make it any harder for you by interrupting
??: i dont
??: i dont even know how to respond to that like
??: what dystopian alternate universe must you hail from to ask such a stupid question
??: im HAND-
SS: Oh no I got your name from the tapes
SS: It just doesn’t mean anything to me
SS: What’s confusing me is how even after weeks of intense gameplay, even narrative repetition, you still seem convinced it should
SS: Most Sleepwalkers aren’t this stubborn
??: i prefer adamant but go off I guess
SS: The dragon, my presence, your own memories, it would be enough for anyone else to realize that their life just doesn’t add up
SS: But you-
??: not that i have a clue what youre talking about but i know going off when i see it
SS: You don’t want to Wake up, do you?
??: well i may have never seen inception but im not stupid
??: i know this aint real
??: see your pandora simulation has a pretty major bug you might want to work out if you somehow live to try this shit on me again
SS: Which is?
??: i wouldnt lose
??: and theres no way in HELL id lose twice
??: nah darling the only thing i cant quite figure out is the point of this interrogation tactic where you pretend to be a weird idiot in order to like
??: annoy me into giving into your ransom demands or something
??: unless
??: god what backwater would you have to be from to be telling the truth
SS: Earth
??: and ive only buried 5 psychologists but fine dont tell me
SS: And its Commander
SS: I’m not your darling, son
??: wait commander
??: if youre pulling rank
??: christ did fucking DAHL put me in this simulation
??: it took me two cycles to realize that a DAHL simulation wasnt actually pandora???
??: god DAMN IT
??: im not living that shit down
SS: If you would listen for even five seconds-
??: ok heres the deal
??: i quadruple whatever youre getting paid and you bust me out of here capiche
SS: You don’t-
??: you so much as breathe a word of this on the outside
??: or
??: idiot that you are you turn me down for some dumb reason
??: i kill you and everyone you love cause rest assured im getting out of here with or without your help
??: and i mean everyone
??: full service not just friends and family im talkin
??: cousins pets preferred podcast creators the works
??: not that it will come to that “commander”
??: thats just boilerplate stuff is all
SS: If its possible for you to stop talking without dying I’m trying to explain to you that we’re both trapped here indefinitely
??: w-wait wait wait hold up
??: you dont know how to leave?????
SS: No, I don’t-
