You attempt to keep your mind on historical fantasy.
You fail spectacularly.
— Handsome Jack [??] began partying with margraveSteel [MS] at 3:17–
??: Is Angel ok?
MS: and a good morning to you too, space man
MS: I was getting worried I healed you JUST bad enough to induce a coma
MS: I swear I couldn’t even put someone in a coma if I tried that’s just not something we’re built for but hey!
MS: first time for everything
MS:
??:
MS: oh right
MS: I don’t know who that is
??: well your pal was awful familiar with my wikipedia article
??: sorry that i cant keep tabs on whos supposed to intimately know my shit???
MS: first things first, Jane’s a creeper
MS: she’d call it advance espionage and necessary to do her job effectively
MS: but its snooping
MS: don’t be fooled
MS: second, I don’t believe in all that
MS: if people want to tell me about their poignant dénouements and tragic backstories, they’ll tell me
MS: third, I barely know what a computer is
MS: I couldn’t wiki your nug damn pedia even if I wanted to
MS: which I don’t because going off your corrupt steampunk baron mien its probably depressing as all heck and I don’t need that energy right now
??: i dont have the ability to stress how much i do not care about everything you just said
MS: haha alright!!!
??: Look I just want to know if my daughter is ok. Or if she even ever existed in the first place.
??:
??: The things I did-
??:
??: she
??: She’s gone through so much for no reason at all.
??: So if she’s out there I’m finding her.
??: And we’re leaving whatever you call this fucking system.
MS: got ourselves a bit of a fighter, eh seras?
MS: I admire your jazz space man but
MS: people a lot smarter, and more importantly, cooler, than you have tried to leave the ‘box and
MS:
MS: it didn’t end well
??: kid you just admitted you have no idea who i am
??: Who are you to say what’s going to stop me?
MS: the champion who saved your ass from being utterly annihilated by the only person who’s tried that and lived???
MS: I feel like that’s enough to make an educated guess
??: oh that reminds me
??: who asked you to do that????
??: because im pretty sure it wasnt me
??: Actually, I seem to recall that I made it abundantly clear I was HAPPY with that turn of events.
MS: you’d have just come back from that space man
MS:
MS: trust me
MS: it doesn’t work
??: yeah i guess if destroying my brain instantly aint going to do it nothing fucking will
??: figures
MS: oh you don’t have a brain
??: huh.
MS: we don’t have organs silly
MS: sure, I guess the head’s a crit spot on you, it is on most space fellas
MS: but you don’t have anything in there so as long as it doesn’t drop your HP below 0 getting hit there won’t do more than hurt
MS: a lot
MS: and given how much hurt I’m guessing Jane already laid on you I can’t believe you didn’t despawn instantly from the bullet
MS: you have a dragon’s health bar despite your fragile space man frame
??: I-
MS: you know
MS: like in video games
??: no
MS: like literally we are in an xbox 360 that should have just been forcibly understood by you by now
MS: this is why no one lets me heal people
??: no i dont know that
MS: you’re a space man, you should know about video games-
??: nah i know what video games are
??: and i see why one might draw that conclusion
??: No, I’m just actively choosing to doubt that they’re the premise for my existence.
??: see i know a thing or two about programming
??: possibly the most about it actually
??: do you have any idea how hard it is to make ONE VI that can even pretend to be self-aware let alone a true AI???
MS: I’m very curious to learn what part of my aesthetic has lead you to believe I could guess, because I need to get rid of it immediately
??: well its about twelve dragons
??: i assume thats how they measure difficulty where youre from
??: which is apparently the middle of fucking alagaësia
MS: mmm yes I see
??: and more importantly
??: its absolutely unnecessary to execute something this basic
??: So no.
??: I refuse to entertain the stupid conceit that any attempts to convince me I am an RPGFPS antagonist are anything more than just further mind games on the part of the sick fucks that created me.
MS: hey but the sick fucks what all made you are also the ones that told you how computers and games work
MS: how do you know it doesn’t need to be like this?
MS: how do you know that this is even hard?
??: |:{2
MS:
??: ):{2
MS:
??: Oh my god.
??:
??: Wh-Why the fuck am I a thing that’s happening.
MS: I’m sorry space man
MS:
MS: but we just don’t know
??: It’s going to happen again
??: isn’t it?
MS: I can’t say for sure
MS: but I’m not going to lie to you
MS: it is almost certain
??: I-
??: I am going to have to hear them laugh again.
??: THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE ME HURT HER AGAIN FOR NO BETTER REASON
??: THAN KILLING A FUCKING HOUR